How to overcome our previous birth experience. Pippa's birth story <3
Birth is one of the most defining moments in our lives, for moms and for babies. After all it's when you meet the future love of your life.. Our experiences differ, and we sometimes need to adapt our plans on the way, but so much depends on how we look back at our story, and what we do with it after..
Birth of Pippa is a story of an amazing woman: her mom, who was able to turn her first birth experience into a beautiful birth that she has ever dreamed for.
Thank you Rachelle for sharing it with us _/\_
Birth of Noah..
"To understand the birth story of Pippa, I will first share a brief summary of the birth story of Noah: my first baby. I used hypnobirthing method and I was amazed how I could transfer myself, contractions felt like waves. I welcomed them with my body & mind and remained fully in relaxed modus for total of 12 hours. However, my water hadn’t broke yet and my midwife suggested breaking my membrane to go to full dilation. “Within an hour you will be walking out of here with your baby”. But this was a mistake as intervention was not medically necessary. My contractions became rapidly intense, and I was advised to “push”; however, I had no feeling what I was doing. So, I panicked, pain intensified… After two hours I was exhausted and was transferred to the medical team within the hospital. After one extra hour of “pushing”, extra medicines to increase my contractions, an episiotomy & vacuum, Noah was born.
It took me a while to recover, not only physically but especially mentally. I felt like a failure, all my preps of hypnobirthing for natural birth where for nothing because of intervention and me failing to push the baby out myself. Luckily my husband made photo’s & videos of my early 12 hours, in which I was so serene and peaceful. This beautiful part of my delivery shouldn’t be forgotten, and I started to feel better about myself. Also, I went to a pelvic physiotherapist, who checked my pelvic floor (to see if I was fully recovered and able to resume working out again), she ensured me that I definitely knew how to “push”. After discussing it with Kasia (Mamamoon Retreats), she explained what happens and the intensity of “breaking water” as an intervention; this can help (to speed up) but can also be very disruptive when the baby is not ready. Finally, all found its place and I felt better about my birth experience.
Preparing for arrival of Noah's little sister..
Soon I was pregnant again! Still a big fan of hypnobirthing method I was determined to prepare and give birth again via hypnobirthing: this time no intervention! I did it once, was more secure and confident. I used the affirmations, meditations, prenatal yoga, readings and partner light touch massages. My baby was enjoying her time in my belly, but at 41 weeks and 4 days she was ready: 05:00 my water broke. But no contractions yet. Around 07:00 contractions started… the midwife (another one than my first) came and confirmed that labor had begun. I wanted to deliver my baby in a bath and wanted to have medical help nearby (in case of a life-threatening event – it gave me a secure feeling) so we went to the birthing hospital.
Contractions where okay, but finally in the room with my hypnobirthing/meditation playlist on… I couldn’t find the serene modus I had with my previous birth. Lights where off, there was a bed, a couch, a ball and a bath…however I couldn’t relax. Also, the contractions felt heavier and not like waves. What was happening? Not again??!! I started to panic when my dilation was still 2 cm, and the contractions felt like pain. I couldn’t do this again and I will not put myself through this again. I requested the midwife to discuss an epidural (despite my birth plan of natural birth). She explained that I would be transferred to a medical team and she would leave. I would go to a different room, would first be monitored for at least 30 minutes and an epidural needed to be prepared… I would be at least 90 minutes before I would be pain-free and I would definitely give up natural birth in a bath. She said: “You know, it’s your second, things can go fast pretty soon if your contractions intensify, you can also be pushing within 90 minutes… if you just wait. But it is up to you.”
The turning point..
My husband looked at me and asked whether the pain was really more severe or if it was my head which was tricking me. He was right; it was my head. The playlist together with contractions made me go back to my first birth, the panic I experienced in the last phase. But now, once we started talking, my attention was off my contractions and my mood changed. Also, the fact that it would take at least 90 minutes for me to be pain-free or choose to maybe deliver my baby in the same amount of time, made me take a leap of faith. Okay, let’s go for the natural way, my head will not mess this up.
We changed the playlist to Ibiza lounge beats and started talking & joking. I was singing through my contractions and my husband sang along, it was such a funny setting, it made me let loose. Soon my contractions increased in frequency and intensity; I remember my husband saying to the midwife: “There is almost no pause between them, right?”. My midwife asked me I felt pressure to push. I said maybe… “Shall I check your dilation, maybe we can start the last phase?”. We hadn’t checked it, since it could work demotivating for me. And yes: she could feel her little head!
So, within 2 hours I went to full dilation. She said: “If you want to, you can push against the pressure once a contraction is there”. And in comparison, with my previous experience, pushing felt really good. The pain of contractions could be worked with… I had control. And yes, sorry to all hypnobirthing mommies: but I never experienced contractions as waves in this birth story, they just became better “doable” once I shifted my attention. Pushing phase was for me so much better than before. I actually planned to “breathe” my baby out but pushing made me feel so much better. After 25 minutes of active pushing, my dear Pippa came into the world: naturally and in a bath, just as I wished for. I couldn’t be happier."