When I knew I would be induced for medical reasons, I started experiencing a lot of anxiety. A friend of mine recommended me to read about Hypnobirthing since it could help me feel calmer and even feel more in control during labor.

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My anxiety came from the birth of my son. I was also induced for his birth, and unfortunately it was too long and too painful. I pretty much felt that things happened to me, I saw doctors and nurses making decisions for me while I stood there not knowing what to say or do. Fast forward a few months and there I was, still in pain, with post partum depression and a tiny baby that needed my help when I needed help as well.

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For my second pregnancy, I was determined to make things differently, but by the time I learned about Hypnobirthing I was already 34 weeks pregnant- Luckily, I found Kasia. Who was kind enough to taylor a one day Hypnobirthing course for me, where she taught me about breathing techniques, methods to produce my own oxytocin, visualisation exercises and postures to help ease the pain and get the baby into position.

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I was admitted to the hospital at 37 weeks to start the induction. Kasia was such a sweetheart that she even came to see me at the hospital to practice breathing techniques and some postures to get the baby into the perfect position for birth.

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My waters were finally broken on the fourth day of induction at 9 am. I asked the doctor and nurses to delay giving me the oxytocin as much as possible. I started with 3 cm dilation and by listening to music, laughing and playing board games with my husband in a couple of hours I managed to dilate 2 cm more. I was creating my own oxytocin :)

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The Dr still wanted to start me on oxytocin so we started with a low dose. Surges were coming but I was able to handle them through breathing and by listening to my favourite music. The doctor and the nurses were surprised that I had not asked for an epidural just yet.

At 2 pm they increased the oxytocin to a level where I was having 6 surges in less than 10 min. That was a lot, and quite intense, but I was still managing through breathing, and by then, I had switched the music to relaxing tunes and mantras to get me through the intensity of the surges. I then, asked for an epidural, but it did not work and suddenly my blood pressure started rising.

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While doctors were running some tests, exploring an alternative to epidural and calling the anesthesiologist back, I was still managing the intensity through breathing and visualisation. With every breathing, with every surge I asked my body to open up, to dilate, to bring my baby safe. I talked to my baby and asked to be ready, to be prepared.

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Finally when the gyno and the anaesthesiologist came to the room with an alternative to the epidural, I felt I just needed to push her out. I was 9 cm dilated.

We waited a little longer for that last centimetre and started breathing in and out strongly. Doctor asked me to push so I pictured by body blooming like a flower, letting my baby girl out with everytime I pushed. It was fantastic feeling every nerve on my body, every fibre, every cell. Doctors and nurses later pointed out how the relaxing music was relaxing for them as well.

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I also suffered from a hemorrage aftewards, but my levels of oxytocin were such that I just not scared at all. I trusted the doctors completely, I asked my body to cooperate and heal. I felt confident I was in the best hands to help me go through it. And I was.

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It was a beautiful birth, a beautiful process and I cannot thank Kasia enough for guiding me and giving me the tools to do what I did, for her warmth and care. I felt her support the whole time, I kept her words in my head. I am 7 weeks post partum now and I feel calm and happy. I was finally able to heal my first birthing experience and to fully enjoy the birth of my baby girl. Thanks a million, Kasia!

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March 2020, Amsterdam

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